Breaking the relationship with someone that you love so much is very painful. One or both adult swingers are likely to feel much hurtled feelings about being rejected by their partner. They wonder if there is something wrong with them or they are right and another person is wrong. They also fear to build the future relationship with the adult partner.
If you have recently broken up with someone, don't give up on love. A solid, lasting relationship takes two similar, committed people to make it work. There's nothing wrong with calling it quits when a vital ingredient is missing.
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Yet, many singles grieve a lost relationship. They may feel like they have lost a part of themselves or their personal history. If you are struggling to get over someone who is no longer in your life, here are a few suggestions that may help to ease the pain:
1. Cry it out. Don't hold back; allow yourself to weep, sob, groan, and mourn the departure of someone you care about. It is normal and even desirable, to allow your adult singles to feel the pain of loss. But don't carry on forever. Each day, cut it a little shorter until you are ready to put it behind you for good.
2. Pamper yourself. Buy a new outfit, join a dating service online. Do something practical and yet fun to feel the joy of living again. Losing someone who made you feel special means this task will now fall to you, so don't skimp. Plan an evening or weekend to do something that will make you feel absolutely wonderful.
3. Visit a friend. If possible, get together in person. A "live" visit is the best kind for sharing heart-felt emotions and empathy. But if you cannot get with a friend, make a telephone call using Web cam. if you have access to it, or a regular telephone. Email is another option. Though less satisfying than the "live" choice, hearing from a friend is still an important way of feeling valued and treasuring friendships that endure.
4. Do something to feel your dating personals happy. Giving of yourself by helping others ironically can make you feel good. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Join the church choir. Help a political candidate get elected. Start a community recycling program. The more love you give away, the more you will feel loved in return.
5. Get sociable. Take an art or language class. Go bowling with a group of pals. Take your niece or nephew to a movie. Social interaction for its own sake is a great way to have fun and bond in other relationships. Make it a time of fun rather than a time to find women tonight for fun. Do something you haven't done in a while or perhaps something new you've never tried.
6. Write about your feelings. Create a poem or short story. Or write in your diary about the lost relationship. Reminisce about the good times and reflect on what you can learn from the bad memories. Your relationship then becomes a permanent part of your life through your writing.
Ending a relationship need not be all bad. Make it an occasion for exploring emotions, sharing with others, and learning from experience.
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